Superhero in Disguise

When Porter was born and we were ready to have visitors, my older sister and her husband came back to our room. As they walked in, I immediately asked where’s Hyott (my 2 month old nephew)? They had left him in the waiting room with my younger sister. I immediately sent her a text to come back to my room and bring Hyott with her.

You could feel the tension as she opened the door. Everyone was nervous of how I would react. I quickly said, “I told them to come back here.” A little time went by, Hyott made some noises and all eyes were on me. I could hear the thoughts running through their heads. “Is Bailey going to get mad?” “Will this upset Bailey?” I simply looked at everyone, smiled and said “it’s okay.” The questions that ran through everyones’ heads, also ran through mine. I didn’t know how being around another baby, especially a baby boy, would make me feel.

But truthfully, it made me feel better. Being able to hold my first nephew after the loss of my son helped me heal. It still helps me heal.

Hyott is now two years old and he loves his “Boppie.” (That’s what my nieces and nephew call me.) He runs straight to me, screaming my name (on repeat) when I walk in the door. As I feed my daughter Lillian, he jumps in my lap to help and I get a glimpse of what my life should’ve been like. For a split second, I am at peace and my world feels whole.

I know Hyott is not my son and will never take the place of him, but it does my momma heart good to see what Porter would be learning and doing right now if he were here. 

The love of this little boy saves me everyday and because of that, he is my superhero in disguise!